God’s Providence and My Will

I’ve been thinking lately about destiny and God’s providence. There was a time in my life where I would feel very at peace with decisions because I believed I knew what God wanted me to do. But there were other times when I would feel stressed out because nothing I did was coming through in the way I felt God was telling me it was going to go. Ultimately, it all became very confusing.

But now I know, more often than not, God puts choices into our hands. He will provide His input and tell us where he’d like us to go, but the choice is never easy because the path is never easy. Proverbs has numerous examples of where the individual seeks wisdom through God in order to know the right choices.

Even when we look at the stories in the Old Testament, we see many people God had a plan for but almost every single one of them stumbled and messed up (sometimes majorly) along the way. Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, David, etc. etc. They all had faith and their faith took them into some dark places, but God’s plan all along was overarching and ultimately universal. So, even those who majorly messed up could not thwart the ultimate goal of the divine plan – Jesus Christ. This divine plan supersedes all human ambition and should infill the life of every Christian.

I am at a time in my life where I find myself at numerous crossroads. I have a conviction and I have a place I know God’s calling me to be, but this doesn’t mean that it will happen in the timing I want or in the way I want. I want no resistance. I want everything to be packaged nice and neat with a little bow. That’s never going to happen. Instead, I need to put my head down, spend time in prayer, not just for guidance, but for strength, patience and humility to continue on even when there seems to be no end in sight. It takes my will cooperating with His will and be transformed so that my will is in union with His will.

Will I make a lot of mistakes? Yes, and I’m sure I already have. But this is bigger than me or my own worries. I also know the ultimate goal for my path – theosis (aka, complete union with God, being what God is by grace). So, this path is long and sometimes very hard, but it is the joy and light that invades my soul. It is the beauty of the Lord that dwarfs all other passions of my flesh. It is the truth of the ages that is fully seen in the community of saints from age to age. I must remember this even when I’m feeling impatient or even alone.

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. (Hebrews 12:1)


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